Wednesday, October 15
11:54pm

Dear Diary,

Well, the polls are in, and Barack has won the debate. Good for him. Was concerned at the beginning when McCain came off so strong. But we all knew he couldn’t last that long. Besides, it’s past his bedtime anyway.

However, I must comment about Joe the Plumber. Who is he? Yes, there are pictures online, and Fox News blew this story out of proportion. But why didn’t they stick with Joe Six-Pack? I liked that. I am a Joe Six-Pack, which helped me to show voters that I understand them. Am working out a way to relate to plumbers to self. Possible explanation: I will go through the White House and fix all the leaks where the Bush Administration has gone wrong. Explanation still in the works… Need to make sure that this doesn’t become a Biden-ism.

Really insulted with the way McCain attacked me. I thought we were friends! I always called him a friend. But he really went after me. Barack didn’t go after Palin, and we all know how far that could go. Very respectable of Barack. Wonder if I could have shown that much restraint. But McCain totally got my plan for Iraq wrong! Not that anyone can expect McCain to get all the detail right in his age. At least all my attacks on him were truthful.

Still, McCain finally was able to say, “I am not George Bush.” Sure took him long enough. Probably his best line of the whole debate. But not enough to save him. Really does look like we’re gonna win this election, which brings me one step closer to becoming the White House plumber.

Until next time,
Joe