Sunday, December 7th
11:55pm

Dear Diary,

I went to family get-together early this evening. It was lots of fun, and definitely a lot of fun to see everyone. Feels like I’ve been hanging out around Washington D.C. a lot lately, trying to stick around in case there’s anything I need to do. So it’s nice to get away and have some family time every once and again. This party was a big to-do, and the kids even ended up blasting some of their own tunes in the other room. I never was much of a fan of this new rap called “hip hop.” Sounds like an inappropriate bunny-hop genre, but I pretend to like it so that I can please the kids and hopefully identify with the younger demographic of voters.

Well, I was standing outside the room making sure everything was ok when I heard, “I want Joe Biden, need Joe Biden” as part of the song. I thought the kids were just playing some kind of a promotional campaign video, but when I heard other lyrics saying, “You can have whatever you like,” I realized this was part of the song. I went in and asked the kids what it was called (“Whatever U Like” – title makes sense) and why it had my name in it. Well, the kids at first thought I was crazy and just hard of hearing. But when they played it again, they to heard, “I want Joe Biden, need Joe Biden.” Apparently, the lyrics are actually “I want your body, need your body,” but it sure sounds a lot like Joe Biden. They even thought so too, after listening to it a second time.

After hearing this, I’m considering talking to some music artist to see if I can’t get my name actually put in a song. It would be a great deal of publicity, and I’m sure it would boost my popularity among the youngest demographic significantly.

Until next time,
Joe the Veep