Monday, January 26th
9:55pm

Dear Diary,

People (well, mostly bloggers) are saying I’m being “gloomy” when it comes my predictions about Afghanistan. Well, look folks, I’m being honest. If anything, people should be happy to finally have a government who isn’t filled with selfish crooks and liars. They should be glad to know about what’s really going on. I’m sure the public is still in a state of shock over the economy. After all, like Afghanistan, it looks like it’s going to get a lot worse before it gets any better.

Still, I’m looking forward to the day when people don’t completely balk at everything I say. Man, you know, that John McCain really did a number on me during the campaign season. But who’s in the White House now? People will get back on track soon, I’m sure… realizing who’s actually fighting for their best interests. I have faith in the resilience and good sense of the American people. They’ve already given Barack and me the jobs, now hopefully they’ll stop freaking out over the little details and focus on the bigger picture. Same is true with those darn Republicans, fighting us every step of the way. If you ask me, they need to just get over the fact that they not only lost a ton of seats in the Senate and the House, they also lost the Executive Branch. And it was entirely their fault, since they proved that their leadership (in many cases) could not be trusted. Ah, how nice to finally have trustworthy people running the government. It’s been such a long time coming…

Until next time,
Joe the Veep